A Little Paper Story

"All I Want To Do...

2010-08-12T23:19:00.001-07:00

is to be with you. Why can't we be together?"

She looks at him sadly.

You, you have your own world.
I don't belong. I can only support you in my role, but nothing more.
If you can't accept it, then I have to go.

"Why can't you just accept love? You deserve it. Why can't you just try to see me as the one who loves you? Why can't you give me a chance?"

There is no place for you and I. You still have your time under the sun. Mine has long left.
There are so many paths you should and can take. I have had my adventure. I have had my days under the sun.

I am sorry.

She turns around and walks away.

And he...

he could only watch her back.

His heart pounds so hard, it could explode.

"No...I'm not going to cry."

He tries and tries to tell himself just that.

But this tear...

This tear keeps rolling down.

Unleashing

2010-08-12T23:11:00.000-07:00

There is something beautiful about keeping secrets.
Wonder what it feels like being able to unleash a different kind of creativity? Assuming that other role that you always want to try?
Wonder what it would be like if I just try telling the stories floating in my mind?

Sometimes those sentences are enough to create stories.

Unleashing creativity crazily as in full moon crazy.
Wonder how it would be....

If...

2010-08-12T19:03:00.000-07:00

You could morph into something, what would it be?

alter ego

2010-07-29T20:53:00.000-07:00

1. Another side of oneself; a second self.

2. An intimate friend or a constant companion.

[Latin : alter, other + ego, I, self.]

Source

Just realize...

2010-07-29T20:52:00.001-07:00

that many times I have been shouting into the darkness, hoping someone would hear me...

Getting Closer to My Newfound Freedom

2010-01-28T11:53:00.001-08:00

I have been waiting for this moment for such a long time and finally, God has granted me the key to my newfound freedom.

To some people, my dreams maybe silly, but they are real to me.
They are the stars I'd like to reach.

I believe in this country. So much so that I cannot see any other place that could fulfill my dreams than here. And yes, I have been looking forward to that day I can proclaim to the world, "I am the citizen of United States of America." That day is certainly getting closer than ever.

I am probably one of the very few lucky people who actually got "Congratulations!" vs. "I'm sorry to hear that" when I told people I will get laid off.
I want to continue to work hard on my business so that I may one day return the favors to this great country.

I am looking forward to opening doors to people.
I am looking forward to walking the tough and tougher paths, for I know I will get to the rainbow I've been wanting to see.

Closer than ever...
As I close my eyes, I can see the wings start to grow.
Closer than ever...
The wings will start to open
and I will soar high up in the sky

My freedom
My dreams
Closer than ever...

My Life with a Grain of Salt: Spoon 2

2009-11-03T18:43:00.000-08:00

I Think I Know Why I'm So Mad

I really hate this part about growing up (and working in corporate America): Sucking it all up and just let it go. Oh my berattles!

Part of me is angry because I cannot believe that losers and incompetent jerks are getting away with the mess they do.

As for the other part (and most of importantly), I am angry at myself for letting this eat me up.

No, I am not planning to go back and see the psychologist anymore. Nothing wrong with her, she is actually excellent. My pride won't let me go back. I really need to tell myself to resolve this feeling a.k.a issue on my own. This is the best way for me to learn. However, I am old enough to understand that if I get stuck again, then yes, I'll concede to my damn pride and go back. But for now, I think I can handle it. At least, I want to try handling it myself.

I sat back a few days ago and wondered why am I so mad. Like really, really mad that I don't feel like settling until I can get a chance to tell her "You mother(*&$%#, you can just go and *&$! yourself!" But of course, I cannot and probably never will be granted the opportunity to say that to her.

I think I kinda know why. Note that I used the word "think". You have to remember, I am still in the process of growing up, so these are just me talking out loud.

One: At the core, I am a perfectionist. Thus, I really dislike anything that is closely related to imperfection, particularly inefficiency. That just drives me bonkers.

Two: I acknowledge that I was born to work like a machine a.k.a workaholic. Thus, I really, really hate lazy people. You can be stupid, but if you are diligent, you'll earn respect from me. If you are not only stupid, but lazy on top of that, you can dream to even get a drip of respect from me. Respect is EARNED.

They said the first step to solving a problem is to identify the root of the cause. I think I am heading towards the right direction. I'll revisit this topic again. I think I need to sit on it.

Writing has been quite helpful, I must say.

My Life with a Grain of Salt: Spoon 1

2009-10-24T14:35:00.001-07:00

A Letter to an Incompetent Jerk I Work With:

You Cannot Buy Me to be Your Friend

First of all, you are not even giving me money. If you think by giving me clippings from magazines of flowers and saying that "Everytime I see flowers, I think of you" will melt my soul, THINK AGAIN.

You backstabbed me once, you dragged me to my boss' office for being disrespectful because I don't look at your shitface when you said "good morning". So tell me, what reasons do I have to actually believe that your gesture is sincere?

Let me tell you, sweetheart, I am just trying my best to work with you. I have ZERO intention to be your friend. And I'll tell you why.

People who I consider my friends, they do NOT backstab me.

They do NOT throw tantrums and asking me to respect them.

They are grown ups who actually know that RESPECT IS EARNED.

So tell me what have you done that's worth the respect you ever so demand?

You are so incompetent at so many things, belittling and "projects" you have asked for my assistance were insults to my intelligence. If we were to be on the same level, you would be nothing but a joke.

Just because you have the title "manager" does not make you know how to manage.

You are just a glorified coordinator. Give me a stinkin' break.

But don't worry, sweetie pie, I won't be nastier when I see your face.

I am just telling you that I will never put my guard down.

I was stupid enough to let myself fall into your traps twice, but I am not THAT moronic to jump in for the 3rd time. So you can take your wishful thinking and your so called "kind gesture" to hell cuz this one doesn't buy it.

Sincerely,

My Life with a Grain of Salt: Epilogue

2009-10-24T13:59:00.000-07:00

You know how sometimes old memories come flashing by and you wish you could write them all down so you won't forget? I think I'm in that kind of mood today. I have always wanted to write about some moments in my life. I thought about maybe writing a novel about it, but hell, I'm not a good writer. However, I am the kind who needs to execute my ideas because I don't want to have regrets and I definitely don't like asking "what if" questions. I think this blogging format works best. I don't care who reads the stories I write, all I care about is putting them out there. Better than just having those sentences stuck in my head and went unspoken.

River Crest Golf Club and Preserve, Oaks, PA

2009-04-18T18:11:00.000-07:00

Clouds

2009-04-18T18:04:00.001-07:00

Rainbow

2009-04-18T18:02:00.000-07:00

Places

2009-04-18T18:00:00.000-07:00

Serenity

2009-04-18T17:54:00.000-07:00

Animals

2009-04-18T17:45:00.000-07:00

A little rant

2009-04-09T15:52:00.000-07:00

Some people who think having the title "Manager" means they can treat people who (they perceived as) "below" them like shit are pathetic sorry asses. Even worse...they don't even freakin' own the damn freakin' company and yet they expect people to bow down and lick their feet.

I am thankful to have a great boss who does not treat me like that.
It's just getting harder to witness how that ignorant and arrogant manager treats my colleague, who happens to be her "subordinate".

Why does corporate America let things like this happen?
How the hell do these people get hired?
You would expect a Human Resources manager should know better than to treat people like shit.

My boss once told me...be careful on whose heads you stepped on your way up, because you would never know who you're going to meet on your way down. I wish he would tell her that.

I hate, hate, hate ignorant and arrogant people. I just hate them.

My Bestfriend

2009-04-01T11:12:00.000-07:00

My bestfriend gives me strength when I am weak
My bestfriend lets me listen to her woes and tell her that everything's going to be okay

My bestfriend laughs with me, not at me
My bestfriend lets me cry and tell me it's okay to be vulnerable once in a while

My bestfriend sees my potentials and lets me fly
My bestfriend lets me cheer for her

I miss my bestfriend and wish that I can have her by my side every day
But I know that even if we are separated by lands and seas
Our hearts grow fonder and our friendship binds tighter
What we have is not just memories
What we have is real
And that makes it worth while every second of the day

2008-12-04T21:12:00.000-08:00

Almost Paris...

2008-12-04T21:06:00.000-08:00

Vegas No.3

2008-12-04T21:04:00.001-08:00

Vegas No.2

2008-12-04T21:02:00.001-08:00

Vegas

2008-12-04T20:56:00.001-08:00

2008-11-10T17:47:00.000-08:00

現在你的世界
有沒有我?
...

2008-11-10T17:41:00.000-08:00

2008-11-10T17:29:00.000-08:00

陳小寶

dream away...

2008-11-10T17:21:00.000-08:00

心動 - 林曉培

2008-11-07T21:16:00.001-08:00

...
if we were not destined to be together
at least
give us the courage to reminisce
the right to embrace
so as to let you understand
the trace
of my moved heart
...

2008-10-30T20:19:00.000-07:00

hope

2008-10-30T19:44:00.000-07:00

창회 울지 마라

2008-10-30T19:37:00.000-07:00

shadows

and we were dancing...we were dancing...

2008-10-27T20:10:00.000-07:00

dance of the garlic

天空

2008-10-27T19:56:00.000-07:00

我的天空 ~ 為何挂滿濕的淚
我的天空 ~ 為何總灰的臉
飄流在世界的另一邊
任寂寞侵犯 ~ 一遍一遍
天空 ~ 劃著長長的思念

你的天空 ~ 可有懸著想的雲
你的天空 ~ 可會有冷的月
放逐在世界的另一邊
任寂寞佔據 ~ 一夜一夜
天空 ~ 藏著深深的思念

我們天空 ~ 何時才能成一片
我們天空 ~ 何時能相連
等待在世界的各一邊
任寂寞嬉笑 ~ 一年一年
天空 ~ 疊著層層的思念

但願天空 ~ 不再挂滿濕的淚
但願天空 ~ 不再涂上灰的臉

solace

2008-10-27T18:55:00.000-07:00

Pie Jesu
Qui tollis peccata mundi
Dona eis requiem
Agnus Dei
Dona eis requiem sempiternam
~
Merciful Jesus
Who takes away the sins of the world
Grant them rest
Lamb of God
Grant them everlasting rest

lyric and translation: Jos van Geffen

2008-10-27T17:10:00.000-07:00

시간을 그치다

Bicycle

2008-10-12T19:31:00.000-07:00

Bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like

You say black I say white
You say bark I say bite
You say shark I say hey man
Jaws was never my scene
And I don't like Star Wars
You say Rolls I say Royce
You say God give me a choice
You say Lord I say Christ
I don't believe in Peter Pan
Frankenstein or Superman
All I wanna do is

Bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my -
Bicycle races are coming your way
So forget all your duties oh yeah
Fat bottomed girls
They'll be riding today
So look out for those beauties oh yeah
On your marks, get set, go!
Bicycle race bicycle race bicycle race
Bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
Bicycle bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want a bicycle race

Hey
You say coke I say caine
You say John I say Wayne
Hot dog I say cool it man
I don't wanna be the President of America
You say smile I say cheese
Cartier I say please
Income tax I say Jesus
I don't want to be a candidate for
Vietnam or Watergate
'cos all I wanna do is

Bicycle (yeah) bicycle (eh) bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle bicycle (c'mon) bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like

Queen

Solitude

2008-10-12T19:25:00.000-07:00

In my solitude
You haunt me
With dreadful ease
Of days gone by

In my solitude
You taunt me
With memories
That never die

I sit in my chair
And filled with despair
Theres no one could be so sad
With gloom everywhere
I sit and I stare
I know that Ill soon go mad

In my solitude
Im afraid
Dear lord above
Send back my love

Duke Ellington / Eddie Delange / Irving Mills

Flowers

2008-10-12T19:17:00.001-07:00

And So I Walk

2008-10-12T19:09:00.000-07:00

In the forest, I walk
Fireflies light my path
Dragonflies chatter around and say,
"Worry not, my friend,
we shall walk with you all the way"

And so I walk
And so I walk
And so I walk.

The Long and Winding Road

2008-10-12T19:05:00.000-07:00

The Long And Winding Road
The Beatles
(Lennon, McCartney)

The long and winding road
that leads to your door
will never disappear
I've seen that road before
It always leads me her
Lead me to you door

The wild and windy night
that the rain washed away
Has left a pool of tears
crying for the day
Why leave me standing here
let me know the way

Many times I've been alone
and many times I've cried
Any way you'll never know
the many ways I've tried

But still they lead me back
to the long winding road
You left me standing here
a long long time ago
Don't leave me waiting here
lead me to your door

But still they lead me back
to the long winding road
You left me standing here
a long long time ago
Don't leave me waiting here
lead me to your door
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Philadelphia Art Museum

2008-10-12T18:23:00.000-07:00